i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
