Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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