either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need to sanitize my soul.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
