I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
