I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
