it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
