I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
