Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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