I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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