she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
