I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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