there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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