Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
