my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
