even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
