We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
