I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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