Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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