Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
