i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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