Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
