at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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