the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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