I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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