Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize