my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize