did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
