i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
