these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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