the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
