i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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