i just had sex bonerless
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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