the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
