whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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