sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
