Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
