I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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