I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
