I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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