Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're like the curious george of whores
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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