Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
