Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
