I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
