ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
