I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
