10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The uberlube is also flammable
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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