don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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