don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
