I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Panties = found
Randomize
