How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
