Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
