in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
