Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
