I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
