He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
